1. |
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I’m sorry,
I couldn’t hold on any longer
I’ve been postponing this for far too long
this may sound a little far-fetched,
please bear with me,
I wish I could express myself better than this,
but I am not human
I am missing something the rest of you have
and it’s making it impossible for me
to survive in this world anymore
and although I’ve tried so hard,
dissected myself for analysis time after time,
I can’t quite put my finger on what it is
only discovered so many other problems it has caused
how I wish I could have been a better friend
so many names I should mention here
I was never capable of describing how I feel
interaction an unobtainable concept
there was always something keeping me away
undefinable barrier keeping me at bay
so please keep in mind no one should be upset over losing an empty box
no one should be upset over losing
an empty box with a hole in the bottom
I am nothing
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2. |
Oversleeping
05:02
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Awaken to the fact that you’ve overslept
and you’ve missed the waking hour
helplessly rearrange, apologize,
hurry, panic, but you’re already late
\ all I really want is
\ to go back a few hours
ah, but you can never go back again
Awaken to the fact that you’ve overslept
and the day has gone to waste
hours are rapidly sneaking past
procrastinate, staring into walls
discouraged with doing anything
disgusted with doing nothing
artistic accomplishments seem out of reach
\ all I really want right now
\ is to hear a human voice
\ but I’m having a hard time finding any
\ I’m willing to let in
\ and I’m not sure what I want to say
\ all I want to do is
\ run as far from here as I can
but where will you be running to?
Awaken to the fact that you’ve overslept
and your life has passed you by
remember youth? isolation and emptiness
\ was always so out of place to the point
\ where it became a part of my identity
so where has everyone gone to?
and what has become of your life?
and what are you going to do with your life?
\ all I want to do is cry
\ I never wanted to live this long
\ all I want is a kind woman
\ to talk to me and to hold me
\ all I want is a teddy bear
\ I’m tired of embracing the air
\ and I’m tired of talking to myself
so where are you going to find her?
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3. |
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the sky was hot, the land was dry
when I first caught a glimpse of you
poking your head out from the clouds
dressed in black with white trim
you crashed in on me with the grace of an uninvited guest
realizing they've interrupted a stranger in the shower
the hunger in your eyes,
I maybe would have fled, but
you sunk your claws into me like a bird of prey
and lifted me up into the skies above
you sunk your claws into me like a bird of prey
and lifted me up into the sky
a tickle of a feather and I'm crashing back down
when I awoke, alone, I felt so empty, so dead
I fell apart until I figured out I was being ridiculous
and so I pulled myself out of my pit of despair
and went to the place where I hoped you'd be lying in wait
we can dance and twirl for a while, then I'll drop you home, babe
don't be alarmed by the bones and skulls that decorate the mantel piece
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4. |
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I don’t want to be known as the one who led you on and broke your heart
Please believe me my love, way deep down I really don’t want us to part
And I do know just how much you risked in order to be here with me
Having pined for you for so long, I never would have thought I’d ever set you free
But you know that where this is taking me is something I had no way to know
And although I love you and I’ve tried so hard it’s a place I just can’t go
You deserve to be with someone who is able to give you what you need
She is out there somewhere, honey-bunny, but much to my dismay she isn’t me
For so long from the bottom of my heart I have believed
(bottom of my heart)
That I would be the one for you, and you would be the one for me
(you would be the one)
But I can’t be the insect that you need me to be
I can’t be the insect that you need me to be
(I just can’t play the role you need
this fetish is too much for me)
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5. |
JAC
01:47
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6. |
runt
01:23
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Mommy’s angry, grabs me by the hand (Mommy’s angry, drags me half a block)
you’ve got to learn to kick the bullies back
you’re much too old to be crying like this (not supposed to be crying like this)
but he’s long gone by now, and why can’t you see
in more desperate times I would surely have been long dead by now
(more barbaric times would surely have killed me by now)
any real struggle would surely have killed me by now
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7. |
The Last Song
03:57
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All the lights went out.
It went dark for years.
We had nothing left
but an old echo of old,
so we went north
to the mountain’s foot
and sang the last song,
sang the last song.
We’ve burned the last
of the Albertan gas.
Our bars of gold,
our cans of fruit,
our hand-start crank,
our short-wave hopes
sang the last song,
sang the last song.
So turn the gear
till the light goes white
Your energy will move the world.
You’ll hear a voice.
Someone else’s north
sang the last song,
sang the last song.
Metallophones
and fingertips,
some old bassoon,
some foreign tongue,
a square of blue,
a sphere of breath
sang the last song,
sang the last song.
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8. |
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9. |
Jekyl Hearts Hyde
03:34
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10. |
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a sort of far-sighted perception
can never read the situation clearly enough
until I’m far enough away from the moment
that it’s just too late
no signs of malice or rancour
but maybe a reckless thoughtlessness prevailed
I have no way of knowing what has just happened
but I thought I caught a vague whiff of betrayal
kaleidoscopic tunnel vision
drowning in a situation I can’t grasp
the anguish of knowing the worst news might be easier
than this uncertainty
sinking into vague feelings of guilt
as conscience tries to fill gaping holes in the data
I have no way of knowing what has just happened
but I’m starting to fear I may have become Judas
and I don’t understand
how I could push someone
off a cliff
knowing full well that their soul
is attached to my heart
and I have no idea
why I would throw a friend
off a cliff
knowing full well that their veins
are entwined around my neck
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11. |
Incident Report
03:51
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First off all I wasn’t aware that anyone had seen me
around the corner in the back lying on the floor
so I’d like to make it clear I hadn’t knocked myself unconscious
but with the layout with the sink and bin in the way
I had to ram my head into the metal first aid box on the wall
at such an awkward angle that it really hurt my back.
I admit the illegal blade on the metal table beckoned to me
on the way back there but somehow seemed too obvious
and of course the reason I headed back there in the first place
was to wash my hands off to fix the order myself
because people’s endless demands are always completely
impossible to be communicated to others and
there’s never time to draw a fucking diagram and
because everything revolves around me
because everything depends upon me
and I really really really really really really wish it would stop.
Back in the front and found out that someone had actually made
an effort to get it done, a clever way to mock me,
as the weight continued storming down on me because machines
could never be designed for people’s endless demands
and I tried to ignore it when once again my hands
started going numb on me for no apparent reason
but when the walls started shaking with hysterical laughter,
well this was something new, so it was a bit disturbing
but still I knew I had to pull it all together somehow
because everything revolves around me
because everything depends upon me
still the nagging feelings of pointlessness and worthlessness will not shut up,
but now I see the perfect solution I somehow missed,
around in the back, up in the narrow square space
with the short ladder leading to the opening to the roof
where there wouldn't be quite enough room to cut a body down
and so it doesn’t matter that predictably they now talk
like I can’t hear them when they say that everything is
all my fault, and yes of course they’re right, it must be
because everything revolves around me
because everything depends upon me
and I really really really really really really wish it would stop.
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12. |
The Happy Song
02:43
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I don’t understand this feeling
this sure is something different
I don’t know what’s wrong with me
for once in my life I feel happy
this birth of a hope perhaps
that suddenly came along at last
for once I’m in joy’s grasp
right now I just want this feeling to last
things are starting to go my way
for as long as possible I want this to stay
but in the back of my mind I know this feeling will end
for dazed depression is again around the bend
but I want to enjoy this feeling here
until the time it disappears
and although I know this hope will end
I’ll forget until the disillusion
accompanying this is an affection
I suddenly feel for everyone
but sitting here alone myself
adds a slight feeling of emptiness
but it doesn’t make me at all unhappy
this solitude is surely temporary
and with some luck I’ll get to spend time with friends
before I lose all my faith in humanity once again
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13. |
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an overdose of rum and sleep deprivation
the room won't stop spinning
feel cold and pale as the snow outside
and so distant from all these people
can’t even make out the details of the disappearing picture of myself
can’t shake this urge to go away
this desperation won’t go away
this anxiety won’t go away
or explain itself
these people are so nice to me
I’m not sure why they bother
suggests I should lie down for a while
the seclusion of sleep perhaps
a solitary room
but echoes of the party creep in at eerie angles
and this piercing chill won’t go away
this dizziness won’t go away
this anxiety won’t go away
or clarify
can’t shake this urge to go away
occasional passers-by inspire intangible hope
she sits down by the door and watches
shadows from the candle
dancing on the wooden floor
and the walls and ceiling, pale as the snow outside
this bitter cold won’t go away
this dizziness will not desist
this anxiety won’t go away
can’t shake this urge to go away
concerned people seem to care
I don’t understand why they bother
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14. |
Driftwood
03:17
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it took too long to realize
I’ve been adrift all these years
floating aimlessly to wherever the current takes me
I used to feel I don’t deserve the things I don’t like about my life
now wonder if I haven’t earned the things I do like about my life
the currents have been kind to me so far
but now it seems I’m in the middle of nowhere
don’t see any land in any direction, don’t know which way to go
now I'm not sure what to make of this absence of ambition
do I continue to let the currents decide
or do I blindly choose a path to swim?
I don’t want much from life
but then I don’t have much to live for
do I have the right to have no desire
to make an effort to swim to shore
before I lose my buoyancy?
took way too long to figure out
I’m not the center of the universe
it took even longer to realize I am a part of this world
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15. |
Waiting For A Bus
04:37
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16. |
Break
01:56
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finally made a decision, chose my fate
for once in my life, I did not hesitate
shouldn’t be surprising that the sky is falling
reaching for shadows above too rapidly approaching
so who’s going to break the news to you?
how will they break the news to you?
found no way to fill the blaring, grating silence
diving out from me into a cold resonance
lost for direction in a world spinning out of control
too often cut my life on fragments of my soul
make no mistake, it’s far too late
one final brake, everything shall break
make no mistake, it’s just too late
hard sky above will be my brake
but now I’ve glimpsed something I’ve missed
you’re an innocent bystander caught in this
you had no way to know
I did my best to never let it show
but make no mistake, it’s just too late
one final brake, everything shall break
make no mistake, it’s far too late
the concrete clouds above await
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17. |
...
00:27
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The Rain and the Sidewalk Vancouver, British Columbia
Based in Vancouver, BC, Canada, The Rain and the Sidewalk created moody, semi-electronic, art-pop.
A detailed bio is on the band's website.
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